


Dilapidated souls

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: 1x7, Aftermath of Torture, Animal Instincts, Animal Transformation, Animalistic, Captivity, Dreams and Nightmares, Electrocution, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Loss of Control, Psychological Trauma, Psychotropic Drugs, Separation Anxiety, Sleepwalking, Vivisection, but i love writing things like this, so give me a break haha, this may be exasperated and unrealistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-01 14:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16767388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: The asylum wasn't kind to anyone.Rachel was forced to watch her friends suffer in agony and slit a man's throat in her fury. Kory was held in an underground chamber and woke up with a tube down her throat and metal gliding across her skin. Dick was strapped to a chair and forced to relive his most painful moments through the effects of too many drugs. Angela was forced to live through years of solidarity away from the sun or any gentle touch.And Garfield... the asylum made him into something he never thought he'd be and never wanted to be again- a monster





	Dilapidated souls

**Author's Note:**

> If Rachel is spelt "Rachael" or Kory is spelt "Kori" (because that's how her name is spelt in every other fic I write her in), just let me know where and I'll fix it up. Also, I know this might be unrealistic and bullshit and all that, but I wanted something like this to be written and I just hope it makes sense. 
> 
> Let me know if you enjoyed it xx

The car ride to the nearest safe house after the asylum was a cold and silent one- Rachel was leaning against her mother with her hands fisted in her thin shirt, Angela’s hands threaded gently in her daughter’s hair and looking down at her with a soft sort of awe. Kory was almost asleep at the wheel, one hand pillowed against her cheek and her hair in disarray around her face. Dick was still trying to fight off sleep and the onslaught of drugs pulsing through his system with every inward breath. 

Looking in the rear-view mirror, Dick glanced worriedly at Garfield, who hadn’t said a word since they had sat into the car. His head was leaning heavily against the car window, his blank eyes staring into the dark passing landscape. There was a smear of red on his chin that Dick could only assume was dried blood quickly wiped away and he hated to think about what had happened while he and Kory had been taken into their separate hells. Dick met Rachel’s eyes and she shook her head.

After an hour of driving and of Dick watching Kory’s hands shaking on the steering wheel, they finally pulled up to the closest safe house that Dick could remember with a cocktail of unknown drugs floating through his bloodstream. It wasn’t as elaborate as the last one and defiantly not the most extravagant of all the ones he could have chosen, but it was not yet compromised and had enough room for all five of them to recover in relative peace.

The moment they had stepped through the door, Garfield had made a mad dash to one of the bathrooms and methodically but desperately rinsed his mouth out with mint-flavoured mouthwash until it burned every inch of his gums for half an hour. Rachel looked towards the closed and locked door sympathetically as Garfield gagged and retched and spat into the basin, trying to rid his mouth of the sour taste of blood.

Despite only just being reunited after 13 years of being separated, Rachel made sure her mother was taken care of and placed into her first comfortable bed in 13 years in her own private room with the heating on high and the covers tucked up to her chin. Angela was asleep almost as soon as Rachel had kissed her goodnight, not having the energy to protest or the strength to fight the peaceful pull of sleep.

The rest of them, this new team that had assembled out of desperation, decided unanimously to sleep together in a single room. After being separated the way they had for so long, none of them wanted to wake up and find themselves back in those rooms as if they had never left in the first place. Besides- comfort works best when it’s in a group.

Rachel and Kory took the bed and with a lot of convincing and a lot of effort, they managed to heft Dick onto the matrice beside them, lying all in different arrangements so they each had their space but they were still slightly touching, feet against legs and hands against arms. Garfield had decided to curl up on the floor in the corner atop a pile of blankets and an overstuffed pillow under his head. He was asleep before anyone else could argue so Kory threw a blanket over him and joined the others on the bed.

It was late, they knew it was, yet despite being bone-deep exhausted, none of them could find it within themselves to sleep. Finally, it was Dick who broke the silence, twirling a strand of Kory’s hair around his finger absentmindedly. “We probably should have tended to our wounds before we went to bed.”

“Fuck that for a joke,” Kory grumbled, staring up at the ceiling. “If I had to stand up for another minute I was gonna collapse.” She poked Rachel in the side with her toe and the younger girl squirmed to look up at her. “You alright? Not hurt at all?”

“No, I’m not injured. They didn’t do anything to me- just made me watch you guys getting hurt so I could do what they wanted.” Rachel explained, voice quiet and slightly detached. “I took care of it though, and once I found my mum, I went looking for you.” They didn’t need to ask how she _‘took care of it’_. She glanced up at Kory. “What did they do to you? I mean, I saw you in that room, underground, but not anything else.”

Humming, Kory twisted the rings on her fingers as she thought. “They knew things about me that I had only recently learned. The room they kept me in was underground, away from the sun and they waited for me to use up all my energy before taking me.” She paused and tilted her head towards Rachael to send her a strained smile. “I guess they just wanted to see if I was as pretty on the inside as I am on the outside.”

Smiling sadly, Rachel turned to Dick, who was staring at Kory intently. “What did they really want?” he asked and from her position lying prone against the pillows, Kory shrugged.

“I don’t know. I was out when they strapped me down, they gassed me when my powers depleted.” She sighed and ran her hand down her arm. “They made some comment about wanting to see how quickly I healed, and what the extent of that was. I don’t know anything else.”

Biting her lip, Rachel reached a hand towards Dick to get his attention, and he turned to look at her with a question in his eyes. “And you? What’d you get? It didn’t look very good from what I saw.”

Dick crossed his arms comfortably over his chest and crossed his legs with Rachael. Normally, he’d prefer his personal space and will no doubt end up on the floor with Garfield by the end of the night, but for now, he was just enjoying their company. “Strapped me down, poked me with needles and filled my veins up with drugs. Normally, with these sorts of things, they usually interrogate you- grill you on things they need to know. But they just… left me in the room.”

“They were watching you,” Rachel said abruptly, remembering. “Both of you. Not just me, but there were other scientists who were giving orders and writing down results.”

“I remember. They talked to me through a loudspeaker.” Dick recounted. “Not the most fun thing in the world.”

“The drugs… do you know what they were?” Kory asked. “Did they do anything?”

There was a sudden pause. “Yeah,” Dick sighed. “They did stuff. I just don’t know what they were and I’m not in the mood to send a blood sample to Batman.”

Nobody asked what Rachel did to take care of their captors. Nobody asked what they did to Kory while she was under the scalpel. Nobody asked what effects the unknown drugs had on Dick. They just laid their together on the bed, limbs tangled together and soaking the comfort from each other.

Rachel could feel the exhaustion and pain and despair rolling off of them in waves- she tried to take on as much of their sorrow as she could, but at some point, it became too much to bear.

After a moment, Garfield stirred in the corner, muttering something quietly in his sleep and drawing the attention of the other occupants in the room. “What about Gar? Does anyone know what happened to him?” Kori'y asked quietly as she watched Garfield twist and turn under the covers.

Rachel cleared her throat and turned over onto her side so she could get a clearer view of Garfield. “They were keeping him in a cage and when they showed me the video, they were using cattle prods on him, to try and make him change.” She frowned. “They might have been cattle prods. They were longer, and the bursts seemed stronger than a regular one.”

Kory placed a hand on Dick’s hip when he made a disgruntled sound and tried to sit up. “Why didn’t either of you tell us? He might have burns that need to be treated-“

“Let him rest.” Kory sounded exasperated as she moved her hand up to his shoulder and tried to push Dick back down onto the bed. “He’s just as exhausted as the rest of us.”

“Besides,” Rachel muttered into the silence. “That might be the least of our worries.”

All eyes turned to her as Garfield whimpered in his sleep and buried his head deeper into the pillow. Kory and Dick exchanged glances as they waited for Rachael to speak, but her eyes were fixed firmly on Garfield’s convulsing form. Eventually, she spoke. “Do you remember how the other day, when he showed us his powers, he said he had never bitten anyone before?”

“What about it?” Kory asked.

“The people in the asylum… one of the doctors wanted to make him transform, to see what he was capable of.” Rachel continued, voice low enough to be a whisper. “He wouldn’t give them what they wanted, he didn’t transform a single time, no matter how strong the shocks were. But when my mum and I went to free him, the main doctor with the cattle prod came up from behind us and tried to take us away.”

Her voice caught as she watched Garfield turn over and press his forehead against the wall, curling himself into a tight ball and hiding unconsciously under the covers Kory had placed over him. She didn’t even notice when Dick placed a gentle hand on the small of her back. “Rach… what did he do?” His voice was tight as if he only just not realized the severity of the situation and could understand where Rachel’s worry was derived from.

“He uh… he bit the man, and dragged him into the cage.” Rachel said, the images of that moment flashing behind her eyes and with it brought the onslaught of emotions and feelings from those involved. Fear from her mother. Anger from Garfield. Horror from the doctor. Disbelief from herself. And when it was all over and Garfield had changed back into himself- disgust. Pain. Panic. “Gar killed him. Mauled him to death against the bars of the cage. When he changed back… his mouth was full of blood. It was really bad.”

“ _Fuck_.” Dick hissed and Kory sighed as they both collectively sat up to look at Garfield over Rachel's shoulder, huddled in the corner. “I didn’t think it would be that bad. That’s why he had blood on his chin, huh?”

“What are we going to do?” Kory asked and her voice was more curious than anything. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Garfield, because she absolutely did, but death had less meaning when you can and _have_ set entire buildings on fire just to dispose of the people inside. “He’s just a kid. He hasn’t even bitten anyone before today and the first time he does it, he ends up killing the guy?”

“I didn’t know what I was supposed to say.” Rachel sighed. “I just told him that we had to find you, to give him a distraction. I thought we would talk about it once we got out but now I’m not so sure. He’s in so much pain I don’t even know what we would talk about.”

Their discussion was interrupted just as Dick was about to reply by a low, guttural growl and when they looked back up, they saw Garfield’s skin turning green in the corner and the sharp cracking of reforming bones and realigning joints permeated the air. “Gar…” Dick said loudly but soothingly, trying to stop the transformation before it began. “Gar, it’s alright.”

When Garfield didn’t give any sort of reply, Rachel closed her eyes and felt all the torment and agony and heartache coming from Garfield, but it felt dull, almost like he was underwater. “He’s still asleep.” She said when she realised. “I think he’s having a nightmare."

As if on cue, a large green tiger now sat where Garfield once was, fangs bared and claws extended as he looked around the room with unseeing eyes. Though his gaze seemed crisp and stern, Rachel knew something was wrong. “Guys… be careful. I don’t think he’s aware enough to know what’s going on.”

“If he eats us in his sleep I’m going to be so fucking pissed,” Kory said as she stood up. She held her hands to her sides, despite knowing she didn’t have any powers to work with. “What do we do? Is someone going to poke the angry tiger?”

“Gar, it’s us.” Dick held his arms out as if placating a scared and wild animal. In this case, he actually was. “You’re safe. Nobody is going to hurt you ever again.”

His reassurances didn’t seem to calm Garfield at all, and soon they had a growling tiger prowling towards them, drool dripping from between its bared teeth to splatter on the floor and it’s head down low, ready to pounce. Despite being a mighty and ferocious beast during the occasional brawl they come across and being intimidating on a regular, Garfield seemed wobbly on his feet and his eyelids kept dropping as he slowly stalked forward.

Gasping, Rachel crawled backwards on the bed until her back hit the headboard. “He’s sleepwalking. Or… sleep changing.”

“Great, I’m going to be killed by a sleep-walking tiger,” Kory grumbled as she moved to the door and grabbed the heavy lamp off the nightstand and held it tightly in both hands like a baseball bat.

“Kory, shut the fuck up for the second.” Dick hissed as he slowly inched closer to Garfield. Behind him, Kory huffed her annoyance and Rachel muttered her concerns. “Gar, it’s me. It’s Dick. Robin. Can you hear me? Do you know what’s going on?”

The only reply Dick received was the deep, low growling of the tiger and Rachel tugging worriedly at his shirt. “It’s not working,” Rachel whispered, less out of fear of Garfield and more out of fear of what might happen if they didn’t wake him up. “Back up, he might hurt you.”

Garfield put his chest to the ground, tail in the air and prepared to leap onto Dick and force him onto the bed. Kory hefted the lamp higher.

Suddenly, as quick as it began, the tiger seemed to jumpstart, its eyes widening in shock and confusion before backing up quickly as it transformed back into a naked Garfield, who shoved his back as far into the wall as he could, dragging the blanket over his lap as he did so. His eyes searched the floor in shock, biting his lip and very deliberately avoiding the other’s worried gaze. “I uh… I don’t know what happened.” He muttered eventually. “That’s never happened before.”

The others exchanged a glance as they watched Garfield hug his knees to his chest and curl around himself, staring lost into space. “You’ve never sleepwalked before?” Rachel asked quietly, trying to give him something to think about other than the pain and the shame and the despair. It almost seemed to work- Garfield looked up at her in confusion for a moment before turning his gaze back down to the ground.

“Of course I have; everyone has at some point.” Garfield shook his head. “I’ve just never… transformed… in my sleep before. I mean, I've done that too, mostly by accident, but I've never actually moved around like I was awake like that before. Does that make sense?” He was rambling, and they all knew it. 

“What were you dreaming about?” Dick asked gently, sharing a knowing look with Rachel as he tentatively inched closer to Garfield’s huddled form. “It didn’t seem very good. You were talking in your sleep.”

Tiredly, Garfield ran a heavy hand down his face. “Just the asylum. And the cage. And the pokers. But it’s fine, really. I just… wasn’t expecting to change like that. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt anyone.”

“Gar, we know what they did to you in the asylum,” Kory said and Dick sent her a withering look that she ignored when Garfield flinched. “You don’t have to hide it. We understand.”

“Nah, I’m fine.” Garfield smiled at her, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. Rachel could feel the pain radiating out of him in waves. “Really, the electricity felt kind of nice. Sort of like when I transform.” It was a feeble attempt at a joke made even weaker by how tightly he had huddled into himself, his chin dropped to his knees, his eyes staring blankly at nothing.

Dick had reached Garfield and placed a soft, comforting hand on his shoulder. He was shaking under Dick’s touch and Dick had to bit his lip to keep from fussing. “You know that you didn’t do anything wrong, Gar. You saved Rachel and her mum. If you hadn’t done what you did, none of us would be here right now, because Rachel would have been locked up and none of us would have been freed.” He squeezed tightly, trying to tether Garfield to the present. “I’m proud of you, Gar. We all are. That was a very brave thing you did, and not many people have the ability to make that sort of decision.”

When Garfield didn’t answer, Dick sighed in defeat and patted him on the arm before standing and making his way back to the bed, where Kory was twirling the black cable extending from the lamp between her ring-covered fingers. “Gar, tell me something.” She said and Garfield, either surprisingly or unsurprisingly, looked up at her. “What’s bothering you most about it? Is it that you’ve never bitten anyone before? Is it the blood? Or is it something else?”

Licking his lips, Garfield let out a shuddering breath before he spoke. “It almost felt like I wasn’t in control. Normally when I transform, I know exactly what I’m doing and why and all that. But this felt… different. New. Like I was shifting for a different purpose, not to fight or protect, but for something else. Almost… instinctual. Like I was more animal than a person and that has never happened before. I’m worried that…” he almost didn’t need to continue the sentence. “I’m worried that the tiger will take over eventually. But… it didn’t feel bad, changing. It felt… like something was unlocking. Something strong and new and unusual. Something… _more_. I just… I don’t like the thought that one day I’m going to change into something I don’t like.”

Throughout this, Garfield had managed to keep the tears brewing in his eyes at bay, not wanting to appear weak over something so insignificant to a new team of friends, but the slight shake of his voice and the catch in his throat and the tremble of his hands gave away his true feelings. Dick shared a look with Kory, but Rachel was enraptured by her green friend, eyes staring so intently that she could have been looking into his soul. Slowly, Rachel crawled forward on the bed, until her arms were hanging off the edge and she was close enough for he friend to reach out and touch. “Gar.” She said. “Gar, look at me.”

Reluctantly, Garfield raised his head to meet her eyes and Rachel had to bite back the sharp intake of breath at seeing the wetness glistening in Garfield’s eyes. She longed to approach him, to sit beside him and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but she knew she couldn’t. Her moment for reassurance and comfort had passed just as quickly as that man died in that cage, and maybe if she had taken the short moment to tell Garfield that he did nothing wrong, maybe he wouldn’t be sitting in a corner as a broken, huddled mirage of the jovial and rambunctious young man he was.

“Gar, we’re not afraid of you.” She whispered eventually and watched as Garfield’s eyes widened and he hastily stood.

Sniffing, Garfield wiped his nose on his sleeve and gestured to the door. “I’m, uh… I’m going to go sleep on the couch. Don’t be surprised if you see a comatose green tiger lounging on the cushions.” He joked in a half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood as he made his way towards the door.

“Gar, wait,” Dick called out to him when Garfield had one leg out the door. “You know that you can always talk to us when things get rough, right? That’s what an alliance is for. We’re in this together and that means talking about things like this. Promise me you’ll come to us when you need to?”

“Yeah, of course, Dick.” Garfield agreed before bidding them goodnight and closing the door hurriedly behind him.

As soon as the door closed, all the energy seemed to leave the room- Dick sat heavily on the chair near the bathroom door, Rachel collapsed onto her chest at the edge of the bed and Kory sank down the headboard with her head in her hands. “That poor kid is majorly fucked up.” She muttered to no one in particular.

“I mean; I think we’re all a little fucked up after today,” Dick argued with a light laugh. “But he promised to talk to us, so that’s a good sign.”

“He only agreed with you so you would leave him alone.” Rachel put in, her voice slightly muffled by the blankets her face was buried in. “He did it all the time with the Chief and the others at his old home. That’s why he agreed with you about not wanting to get my mum. He’s lying.”

“Well fuck.” Dick dropped his face to his hand and stared at the wall.

Sighing, Kory lowered her hands and placed them in her lap. “Well, we’re still alive, so that’s good. But we all need to rest now and that’s not going to work if we’re all staying awake worrying about Gar.” She glanced at Rachel, who had turned her head to face the door Garfield had left through. “That means you too, Rachel. There’s no use worrying about him when he wants to keep his emotions a secret.”

“I killed a man,” Rachel said suddenly, and not with the same quivering fear as Garfield, but with an even indifference that almost worried Dick and Kory. “Mr Adamson. The man who told us about my mum. He tried to get me to call my father. Do you remember when he slit his throat in the bathroom, and I healed him?” The others nodded. “I took that healing away when he threatened you and he died in front of me. Why don’t I feel as bad about it as Gar does?”

Sighing, Dick stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know, Rach, but we’ll figure this out together. _All_ of it.” He added with a pointed look to the door. “For now, we need to rest and recover our energy for the next move. We can’t be caught. We’ll… talk about this in the morning, when we’re all together. As a… _team_.” He added with a grimace.

Kory smirked behind him. “That’s right. We’re a fucking team. And we stick together, no matter what. We’re not going to leave you Rach, or Gar, or your mother. We’re a mother fucking _team_ and we look out for each other.”

Smiling, Rachel gripped Kory’s hand and squeezed it in solidarity. “Yeah. A team. I just hope Gar thinks so too.”

“I don’t think he’d leave your side if you paid him.” Dick joked as he laid back down on the bed. “We should sleep- we’ll talk to him in the morning. See if we can make him feel any better.”

Together, they climbed back under the covers and slowly fell asleep to the whistling of the wind in the trees outside, their own fears from the night raging fresh in their minds and the gentle snoring of a large green tiger sleeping on the couch in the lounge room. 


End file.
